Archive: Too Much Instruction—Not Enough Direction

By Duffy Robbins

I’ve been involved lately in some intense one-on-one ministry with a teenager in our area. We have spent long hours together, some of it in the midst of real trial, sometimes with heated conversation, sometimes wondering if we are actually accomplishing anything at all. There have been hours of instruction, honest confrontations, earnest rebuke, and even some tears along the way. It hasn’t been easy. But I am committed to the process because I want my teenage daughter to learn to drive our car safely.

Sometimes, after her lesson is over and we are safely back at home, we will laugh about various conversations that unfolded in the heat of the lesson.

Daughter: “Dad, why did you grab the steering wheel like that?”

Dad: “Because, sweetheart, it didn’t look as if the elderly lady was moving fast enough to dodge us.”

Or, Daughter: “Dad, you didn’t have to pull up the emergency brake. I saw the tree.”

Dad: “Yes, Erin, I know you saw the tree. It was laying against the hood of our car.”

Or, Daughter: “Dad, you didn’t have to yell; I was going to stop.”

Dad: “Yes, honey, I know we were going to stop. But remember, the object here is for us to stop without going through the windshield.”

There is some risk involved in this process. It isn’t always completely pleasant for either of us, and there are awkward moments along the way. But in the midst of this process I have discovered something very profound: People do not learn how to drive by going to classes and watching films on highway safety. Nor do they learn to drive by having an instructor who stands in the driveway and yells his instructions from a safe distance.

The only way to really help my daughter travel the road safely is by getting into the car next to her and giving her both instruction and direction. What she needs from me is not another study in driving. She needs to have me get next to her and give her an in-car demonstration. Maybe that’s what we mean when we use the word “incarnation.” It’s not teaching from a distance. It’s living in their midst. It’s not just instruction, it’s direction.

In the last few issues of Good News, we have been looking at some of the reasons so many youth groups suffer from what might be described as “faith failure”—the kind of up-and-down, hot-and-cold commitment that blooms bright and colorful a few times a year, but sits dormant and withering the rest of the year . What steps can we as youth leaders take to build consistency into the spiritual lives of our youth?

Surely, part of our problem is rooted in the fact that we have sought to define Christian education solely in terms of providing solid biblical instruction to our students. We have made the mistake of believing that if we give our youth good classroom instruction, they will automatically know how to travel the road safely for the long haul. Unfortunately, it is a method rooted more in convenience than experience, shaped more by time constraints than by vision and determination.

Jesus didn’t say I can teach the truth—he said I’m it. “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” Too often we make the mistake of exposing our youth to a Word become word, instead of the Word become flesh. What does that mean in a practical sense? It means we cannot do effective youth ministry from a distance. We cannot expect genuine discipleship to happen only through a Sunday school lesson. We cannot approach disciple-making as if we were some kind of youth ministry lifeguards who sit above an adolescent swimming pool and perform our jobs by blowing the whistle and yelling safety instructions from a distance.

We won’t keep kids from going under by yelling from afar. We keep kids from going under by getting into the water with them. We tolerate the splashing, the wetness, the loss of our nice warm place in the sun—and we offer direction as well as instruction. This is Christian education that moves beyond witness to the messy business of “withness.”

That may mean we have to overhaul the way we recruit volunteer leaders for the youth program, because now we are looking not just for instructors, but for spiritual directors. It will probably mean we have to redefine our role as leaders, because we understand that classroom instruction alone is not enough if we want our students to learn the road. (For a more hands-on discussion of what this kind of youth ministry looks like, see my book, Ministry of Nurture, Zondervan.)

The bottom line is that a lifeguard in the water is worth two in the chair, and a Dad in the car is worth ten in the driveway. If we are committed to helping our students go the distance in their journey with Christ, we must be willing to give them not just instruction, but direction.

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