Archive: The Best Gift of My Life

By Gus Gustafson

Estelle, I feel awful.” I said to my wife. “I can hardly hold myself up.” Suddenly, I was very ill. Eight hours earlier, the day had started with great promise and anticipation. Friday, December 21, 1979. Estelle and I had planned to take an international family Christmas shopping. Then we’d take Christmas gifts to our children Bob and Gwen Hill. and their family at Winder, Ga .. about 75 miles from home. And, on Saturday night, with other children and grandchildren, we anticipated a Christmas celebration in Winder. We were as excited as the kids.

But, unknown to me, a rare, priceless gift awaited. Had I been given an advance peek at the “wrappings,” without knowing what was inside, I would have pushed the gift away.

Estelle had last minute Christmas baking and package-wrapping to do. I had to be in Atlanta on business, so we decided she would come later.  Everything was going fine, except for one ominous feeling I didn’t understand. At my last stop downtown, I had an attack of chills that left me so weary that I sat down to rest. It seemed as though I’d never get to my car less than a block away.

I drove to our meeting place, arriving ahead of Estelle. Ah, I thought to myself, a little rest, and I’ll be ready to go again. So, I stretched out on the reclining seat of my car and fell into a deep sleep.

A knock on the window awakened me. There was Estelle asking, “What’s the matter?” The sleep hadn’t helped much and I gave her the bad news. We decided that I should return home. Estelle would go shopping, then go on to Winder with the gifts and return home to Griffin Saturday morning.

Secretly I was worried about driving alone for 45 miles, but not wanting to trouble Estelle, I prayed, Lord, will you give me strength for a mile at a time?

About five miles from home, I momentarily faded out. With a sudden start I came to, discovering my car was speeding along on the left-hand side of the heavily-trafficked road. With another prayer I finally arrived home.

As I entered the house, a siege of chills gripped me. Aching and cold, I climbed into bed still wearing my clothes. I put my overcoat on top of the covers and fell asleep.

Suddenly, in the dark hours of the night, chills shook me. Mustering the effort, I got up to find more blankets, and my shirt, wet with perspiration, told me something was dangerously wrong. God, what are You doing to me? I felt like saying. The night dragged on with a mixture of chills, perspiration, nightmares, dozing and waiting for daybreak.

Estelle arrived in the morning and found my fever registered 102. The doctor diagnosed pneumonia, but facing Christmas, avoided a hospital admission and prescribed home treatment.

But the thermometer went up to 104. Estelle and I prayed for relief.

That night my nightmares brought on one frantic struggle after another. Times of tossing and turning were punctuated by minutes of sleep. Wrenching chills followed burning skin and showers of perspiration.

Relief didn’t come, and in desperation I whispered, “Oh God, is this my end?” My mind and heart responded, Oh no! Don’t let it be. I’m not ready. There’s so much left to be done.

Then the haunting, even mocking thought came,  Are you afraid to die? Where’ s your faith? Where’s your Cod?

I tried to recall my memory Scriptures. Nothing came to mind. There seemed to be nothing to hold on to. Suddenly I remembered those special Scriptures I’d learned. (“Spirit chargers,” I call them.) If I’m going to die, I thought, I want to go holding on to one of God’s promises.

Weaving into the study, I dropped into my rocker and fervently read one Bible promise after other, like trying to catch a floating plank in the ocean. Then a verse stopped me. I read it and reread it. The sacred Word spoke to me as never before. “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage and He shall strengthen thine heart … ” Psalm 27:14 (KJV).

I turned off the light and found my way back to bed. Those words “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage …” did something grand for me. There was an indescribable, comforting assurance that if I were to die. it would be OK. The future, whatever it held, would be better. I felt God’s presence. The dread of chills were gone. Confidence returned. I went to sleep.

Sunlight woke me up. Estelle took my temperature. It was still 104.

That’s strange, I thought. How can I feel so much better this morning when my fever is just as high as it was last night? I feel so peaceful and restful compared with last night’s tempest.

Then came the discovery—the Gift—that changed my life. By putting my life in the Lord’s hands, waiting on Him and trusting Him with the outcome, my spirit became stronger than my physical condition. My worry and fear, more devastating than the burning temperature, was gone, pushed aside by trusting the Lord.

Finally, on Tuesday, Christmas day, my fever subsided. The next day Estelle took me to a friend’s guest home in Mobile, Ala., for recuperation—and more gifts. There, alone for 17 days, except for doctor calls and family mealtime visits, the related gifts began to unfold.

To capture a blessing out of sleepless, distressful nights, I prayed for positive, upward thoughts. My Scripture verse, “Wait on the Lord … ” opened my mind and heart-focused my thinking heavenward.

The Lord talked to me about the publisher of the book I had started before getting sick. Night after night, 11 p.m., 2 a.m., 3 a.m., whenever I heard the Lord, I turned on the light, picked up my pencil and paper and roughed out ideas on a Discovery Weekend.

One year later, January 13, 1981, I signed the contract to publish I Was … Called To Be A Layman.

Two years later I spent 30 days doing The John Wesley Great Experiment, seeking God’s guidance on writing Discover God’s Call, a home search and retreat program for laity (updated version of Discovery Weekend).

In August 1982, Discover God’s Call was approved by The United Methodist General Board of Discipleship, with the sponsor being The Foundation For Evangelism of The United Methodist Church.

God’s gifts come in strange packages. Given an option that Friday night of going home or going to Bob and Gwen’s, obviously my choice would have been Christmas with my family. Instead, God had a special gift for me, unexpected, unrequested, but the greatest gift of my life!

Gus Gustafson, a UM layperson from Griffin, Ga., is the founder of the Discover God’s Call program.