logo

THE REALITIES OF Forgiveness
By Kenneth Collins

Ernest Hemingway recounts the story of a Spanish father who took out an ad in the newspaper El Liberal. He wanted to be reconciled with his son who had abandoned him earlier and fled to Madrid. The ad simply read: “Paco Meet Me at Hotel Montana noon Tuesday; All is forgiven, Papa.” Of course, Paco is a very common name in Spain, much like Jack is in America. When the remorseful father arrived at the square where the hotel was situated, he discovered eight hundred men named Paco waiting to meet their fathers. 1

Talk about forgiveness and in many cases you will have an attentive ear. In fact, in the past decade alone more than two hundred books have appeared on the topic. The South African leader, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, captured just how vital forgiveness is for human relations when he poignantly, and without exaggeration, once observed: “Without forgiveness there is no future.”

A popular view is that all religions preach forgiveness for, as the old saying goes, “to err is human; to forgive, divine.” But divine forgiveness is not the case with Eastern religions. Instead the doctrine of karma, the law of immutable justice, reveals that “sin will result in inevitable consequences. Thus, forgiveness is irrelevant.”2 Moreover, the Apostle Peter had asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother, and offered what he, no doubt, thought to be the generous number of seven. Jesus Christ, on the other hand, was lavish in his forgiveness and replied not seven times, as Peter had suggested, but seventy times seven. Indeed, so generous was Christ, as New Testament scholar E.P. Sanders has observed, that he “seems to have invited people into the Kingdom without requiring them to repent in the way that repentance was understood within Judaism—that is, without requirements of restitution, sacrifice, and obedience to the law.”3 In his book Embodying Forgiveness, L. Gregory Jones maintained: “It seems clear that Jesus’ proclamation of the Kingdom transforms the relationship between repentance and forgiveness by stressing the gracious priority of forgiveness.”

It is Christianity alone among world religions that places forgiveness at the very heart of the faith in its proclamation that Christ died for the forgiveness of sins of the whole world. Nevertheless, the graciousness of this forgiveness, receiving what has been accomplished in the life and death of Christ, can also be viewed in another way as one of demand, especially in light of the teaching of Jesus as depicted in The Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” (Matthew 6:12). In other words, receiving the atoning work of Christ is linked in some sense to the sinner’s forgiveness of others. What’s more, the grace of God may actually be cut off in the face of ongoing un-forgiveness—for how can we expect to be forgiven by God if we have not forgiven our neighbor? Such a dynamic issues in what author Halbert D. Weidner calls the “double burden of evil.” That is, “we can survive evil done to us but still not survive the trial of forgiving the evil.”4 Like it or not, we have to recognize that perpetrators not only can commit physical, moral, psychological, and spiritual evil against their neighbors, but they are also able to pose a trial (what power they seem to have!) that can try the very souls of their victims. “Christianity is a religion in which sinners have all the advantages,” Professor Barbara Brown Taylor exclaims, “…They can talk bad about you every time you leave the room, and it is your job to excuse them with no thought of getting even. The burden is on you.”5 Little wonder, then, that in the wisdom tradition of the desert fathers, the saints “usually ask to be delivered from the worst spiritual challenges, such as having to forgive.”6

In terms of definition, forgiveness is a gracious response to having been wronged by another. It represents the “last freedom” of people who have otherwise been manipulated, abused, and victimized. It may not lead to reconciliation or even contact, for perpetrators may desire no such thing, but it can lead to significant physical, emotional, and spiritual healing for the forgiver as several studies have shown. According to some researchers, forgiveness involves, “rooting out one’s negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors directed at an offender and developing positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors towards him or her.”7

Writing in Christianity Today several years ago, ethicist Lewis B. Smedes lays out this process in three basic steps: “First, we surrender our right to get even.… Second, we rediscover the humanity of our wrongdoer. When we have been badly injured and clearly wronged, we make an instant caricature of the person who did it to us.… And third, we wish our wrongdoer well. We not only surrender our right to revenge against him; we desire good things to happen to him. We bless him.”

A common theme in the contemporary literature on forgiveness reveals that those who have come to a sense of peace in terms of significant wrongs have done so through a change in attitude, viewing both the perpetrator and the evil itself in new ways. Indeed, a fresh interpretation, a wider perspective, and even taking into account the humanity of the evildoer can often prove helpful. United Methodist pastor Donald Shelby, for instance, maintains that forgiveness entails an “intentional decision to change how we feel about what happened and what it means to us.”8 Old painful events, and our estimation of them, are given new meanings and we are no longer defined by the offenses we received. As such the evil that we have endured must not become the defining element of our lives, the major script for our story (and identity), for that definition must lie elsewhere.

Ironic as it may seem, the road to forgiveness is often blocked by some very noble passions—a keen sense of justice, for one thing. Thoughts of the unfairness of it all, that may result in hurtful preoccupation and self pity, can hold those who have been wronged above the fires of considerable spiritual and emotional pain. And the incensive powers of the soul, themselves, (vehement resistance to temptation and evil, for instance) that within range are proper may now be misdirected through which people, and in the worst cases, even God become targets of wrath. Moreover, when a wound is picked repeatedly such that it does not heal, then the very sense of justice (so important for moral life) has been perverted into resentment.

But there is, of course, another side to justice, and glib forgiveness, even if it is to avoid the miseries of resentment, always appears “cheap.” That is, wrongs committed do and should matter, especially if we take love seriously in light of holiness. The problem, then, is that if forgiveness does not emerge out of an intentional and deliberate process, then it may seem to condone the offense, to actually enable evil. For one thing, it may give the impression that one can perpetrate evil with impunity which is not the will of God at all. “What is needed, then,” theologian Margaret Hebblethwaite argues, “is a kind of forgiveness that is able to say, ‘It does matter terribly. It will never be all right. But I still forgive you.’”9

So then, justice and forgiveness must be properly balanced through the grace of God. On the one hand, to focus preeminently on issues surrounding justice may actually preclude forgiveness in unending demands for reform and retributive practices. And in the worst instances all of this may feed a spirit of vengeance, perhaps even hatred, a hatred held tightly in place by the illusion, given the enormity of the evil, that we are “entitled.” As Professor Matthew Lundberg states, “At bottom, forgiveness cannot be grounded in justice or repentance.”10 In fact, the clear majority of texts about forgiveness from the early church fathers do not mention repentance. Like the gospel itself forgiveness must be free. On the other hand, to offer forgiveness without a serious reckoning of the evil done is to ignore the reality of sin in a very sentimental way. And such sentimentality is not actually an instance of love, certainly not of holy love, but constitutes its on-the-cheap substitute. The genius of the Christian faith, then, is that it sees evil for what it is, and not as an illusion as in some other religions. It then triumphs over this darkness, transcends it, through its central fact of loving forgiveness.

In his book What’s So Amazing About Grace, Philip Yancey recounts that during a conference on comparative religions held in Britain an animated discussion arose as to what was Christianity’s unique contribution to world religion. The controversy continued unabated until C.S. Lewis, in learning of the issue at stake, replied: “Oh, that’s easy. It’s grace.” “Yes, of course,” we might add, but how do sinful, struggling people get to that grace and forgiveness that it offers? It all looks so much easier said than done. “By instinct,” Yancey notes, “I feel I must do something in order to be accepted.” 11

Indeed, just as in John Wesley’s own day, so many people today struggle in the un-grace of thinking that they must be or do something first in order to be forgiven, an approach that is actually the last gasp of the sinful self to micromanage its own life, its vain attempt to “bring about” redemption. Such a course will likely lead to further feelings of inadequacy or to the annoying question that plagued even Martin Luther’s conscience in his own day, “have I done enough?” If, however, through the grace of God sinners remain open enough to abandon all attempts at self justification, if they come before God with empty hands and in deep humility, then like C.S. Lewis, himself, they may be surprised by joy (and God’s free forgiveness in the face of all the evil that we have done always appears as a surprise), as they marvel at the goodness of God’s grace, the breadth of such mercy, and the richness of the divine love.

Kenneth J. Collins is professor of Wesley Studies and Historical Theology at Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky. He is the author of numerous books in the fields of Wesley studies, American Evangelicalism, and Christian spirituality. This article is adapted from his book, The Theology of John Wesley: Holy Love and the Shape of Grace (Abingdon).



Click here to send your response plus the title of this article to us at Good News.

Good News | 308 East Main St. | P.O. Box 150 | Wilmore, KY 40390 | 859-858-4661 | 1-800-487-7784
info@goodnewsmag.org | About Us | ©2007 Good News magazine